It’s been a while since I got back from my Yoga Safari, just long enough in fact that I have already planned and booked part 2 of the Yoga Safari…more to come on that.
But, I have not yet finished telling you about part 1… two more days of teaching training, a few more reflections about what SYS part 1 taught me:
Lots of new stuff here. Lots of sanskrit, lots of Ayervedic terms, lots of yogic thought and perspective.
The practice is similar to a yin yoga sequence. Slow deliberate movements, priming the body to the winds of consciousness. The movement of prana, guided and contained by intention, softens, opens and re-awakens the sometimes dormant but inherent goodness.
Day 2 Pranayama TT
While the practice remained focused and well intentioned, a lot of anxiety was stirred up today. People were pushed, the the breath and twisting and rotating and opening, the breath moving into places it hasn’t been for a long time. Some were pushed into anxiety, into facing fear, others began to release old pain. I began to feel unsettled, the in-group/out-group theme emerged again.
I held my space, I was authentic, I relaxed knowing that it didn’t really matter too much what these people thought of me. I realised, in fact, that most of these people had trouble thinking about anything other than themselves (yoga is the path of self-study afterall and we were in a training workshop for teachers), I would be a vague memory very soon. I wished I had taken that last teaching opportunity, to show them what I could really do. But instead I practiced resting my ego, letting my conduct speak for itself. I practiced being unmoved by praise or criticism, I discovered I am much better at remaining in equanimity with the negative than I am with the positive. I want to do good. How can I help more people?
When the day ended people were smiling but anxious to move on, these people move fast, not stopping too long in any one place. Leaving early, being annoyed at not getting permission to leave early, racing off with out ceremony. I lingered to thank people. I stopped to thank a fellow traveler for her courage and strength, knowing that sometimes it just takes one comrade to reinforce your position and move forward – she hugged me. It is important to speak up for what you believe in. To have faith.
So what did I get from my Teacher Training experience with OM Yoga? Time and space. Time to think about what I had learned about myself a few days earlier. Space to process and digest it.
We all have trauma and the more my trauma releases and quietens, the more I can hear the pain of others. My body, breath and mind hold the memory of the patterns of trauma, not yet fully released, this residual energy primes me to the feelings and patterns of others. I can hear them more clearly now.