Poetry / Self Awareness

Dissolving. Until next time.

(La Jument, Breton, France) Jument lighthouse, France

As the feelings dissolve, I begin again to enjoy each breath. Flowing, unobstructed, such a pleasant sensation, such a delicate balance, in and out, fully and deeply. I feel my self re-emerge as participant rather than observer, quietly re-positioning, realigning, rearranging. With new eyes I re-frame and take on a new perspective. I see. As difficult as it is to sit with calm compassion, abiding in equanimity, watching as you turn yourself inside out and back-to-front, it is the path. From here, I can see no other way. Not if the destination is true freedom, not if I ever want to rest in peace. And so now, each time the wave comes, crashing down on me like it has been sent to wash away the Devil himself, I am able to sit on the mountainside, just barely above water-level, but that is high enough ground for now. After a while, the wave uses up all of it’s energy, I neither rejoice nor sigh in relief, there will be another. Perhaps they grow smaller, perhaps I climb higher, no matter, I endure. I endure. I endure. I endure and I grow stronger with each wave that crashes, each cyclone that whips the world into a frenzy, destructive and relentless, fuelled by delusion, anger and greed; with each old pattern that manifests I learn to weather the storm. Without fear the storms will subside, I will find the rain refreshing, the breeze refreshing, the ocean waves, refreshing. Everything will renew me with wonder, replenish my love, restore my faith and rectify my vision. But for now I sit, just barely above the water-line, my toes dampened by the crashing waves that now subside. Until next time.

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